No More Keggers In NFL

NFL clubs may no longer serve alcohol at team functions or on buses or flights, extending a ban that until now applied only in locker rooms.

NFL owners and executives were told Thursday by commissioner Roger Goodell that the rule pertains not only to players but also to owners, coaches and guests.

"I believe that no constructive purpose is served by clubs continuing to make alcoholic beverages available, and that doing so imposes significant and unnecessary risks to the league, its players and others," Goodell wrote to all 32 teams in a letter obtained by The Associated Press.

Kobe Beef ?

According to ESPN, Kobe Bryant wants to be traded. Two words. Good riddance! Has anyone seen a more narcissistic player and ball hog than this guy? Pity the team that gets this guy.

Gary Sheffield Should Just Shut Up

Word is that Gary Sheffield is offering to give advice to Devil Rays rookie outfielder Elijah Dukes.

Dukes was held out of two games last week amid allegations that he made death threats against his estranged wife and their two young children. It's the latest incident involving Tampa Bay's talented leadoff hitter/center fielder, who also had a troubled minor league experience.

It seems that Sheffield is wanting to give Dukes advice as you would with someone that may have done something alittle wrong. However, this is a guy that has threatened to kill his wife and children. Tte guy should be in jail. Shame on the Devil Rays, MLB, and Sheffield for not treating this as the crime it is.

What A Classy Guy

As Barry "The Roids" Bonds nears Hank Aaron's home run record, we have this moron telling us what we all knew. Bonds is an ass. Mr. Personality is stockpiling quite a collection of souvenirs -- bats, balls, helmets and spikes, pieces of baseball history perfectly suited for the Hall of Fame. According to "The Roids"," I'm not worried about the Hall. I take care of me." What a guy.

Vick Is Sick

According to ESPN, Michale Vick has been a big player in dog fighting. According to the source,"He's a pit bull fighter." referring to Vick. "He's one of the ones that they call 'the big boys:' that's who bets a large dollar." If this is true, then Vick should be booted from the NFL. Period.

Get The Hook

Brian cashman has a huge bulls eye on him now. The Boss has spoken in no uncertain terms.

Despite constant speculation about manager Joe Torre's job, New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner says someone else also needs to deliver as the team looks to reverse its floundering start: general manager Brian Cashman. "He's on a big hook," a spirited Steinbrenner told The Associated Press referring to his GM. "He wanted sole authority. He got it. Now he's got to deliver."

Well Brian,as they say, be careful what you wish for. You may get it.

How Long Is Your Nose?

Nic "The Liar" Saban, current head coach at Alabama, may have violated NCAA rules regarding contact with potential recruits.

The Miami Herald and canesports.com reported that three south Florida junior prospects described conversations with Saban during his recruiting trip last week that might have exceeded NCAA rules limiting face-to-face contact with recruits to "exchange of a greeting" between April 15 and May 31. Coaches are allowed to evaluate high school players at their schools during that period.

Nic will not comment as he doesn't want his nose to grow any longer.

Sue The Bar

And we wonder why attorneys are lower than used car salesmen. Well, here is a prime example. The tragic death of Cardinals' relief pitcher Josh Hancock is now going to be played out in court as a lawsuit has been filed against Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood. The lawsuit contends that "The intoxication of Joshua Morgan Hancock on said occasion was involuntary."

What!!!

So the staff poured the drinks down his throat? What an absurd lawsuit. Personal responsibility clearly does not apply in this era.

Kings Of The Shills

As Barry "The Roids" Bonds closes in on Hank Aaron's record, we have the despicable commentary by the three morons on ESPN. Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic, and Buster Olney are nothing more than shills for Barry Bonds. They have criticized Aaron and Bud Selig for not wanting to be present when "The Roid" breaks Aaron's record. I guess these guys have never heard of ethical standards. Could it be that these ESPN lackeys are doing this for access? After all, this is the same network that had a weekly Bond series. Their children must really be "proud" of these losers.

Hank Aaron And The ESPN Bond Shills

Isn't life funny? Instead of the light of truth being shone on Barry Bonds, ESPN and its shills want to make Hank Aaron look bad because he won't attend the farce when Bonds breaks Aaron's record with his steroid enhanced body.

Again Aaron has made it clear that he will not be present for the "event." "I will never reconsider my decision," Aaron told The Associated Press in a telephone interview Tuesday from Atlanta.Good for Hank.

Clinton Portis Is An Idiot

Leave it to a buffoon to defend Mike Vick and dog fighting. Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis is behind Michael Vick 100%. He thinks this whole dog fighting thing has gotten entirely too much attention and that we all (fans and media alike) should mind our own business.

"I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property, it's his dog," Portis told WAVY-TV. "If that's what he wants to do, do it. I think people should mind their business."

Portis later added that he knows "a lot of back roads that got the dog fight if you want to go see it" and that "if it's behind closed doors, it's okay.

No, it's not ok you moron.

Is The Writing On The Wall For Giambi?

The Yankees Jason Giambi might lose his spot on the the Yankees' roster if it's determined he used performance-enhancing drugs, according to a published report.

Citing unnamed sources, The New York Daily News reported Sunday that the Yankees will consider voiding Giambi's contract if it's determined he used steroids after they signed Giambi as a free agent in 2001.

Major League Baseball intends to investigate reported remarks by Giambi that the sport should apologize for use of performance-enhancing drugs and the Yankees star's comment that he was "wrong for doing that stuff."

Goodell On Notice

A member of Congress has now weighed in on the alleged connection of Michael Vick with dog fighting. In a letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Congressman Tom Lantos of California said in a letter that he is "outraged that one of the National Football League's superstars is affiliated with such a heinous enterprise".

"The level of cruelty involved in exploiting animals to the point that 60 malnourished and injured dogs were removed from Mr. Vick's property is mind boggling," Lantos said. "I will view anything less than the strongest repudiation of Mr. Vick's involvement as tacit support for this atrocious activity."

Ricky Up In Smoke

Ricky Williams doesn't have to worry about donning a Dolphins uniform. Miami Dolphins coach Cam Cameron, speaking publicly about Williams' latest drug relapse for the first time Friday,said "I will not allow our fans to be let down by people that are not on our roster -- not again,'' Cameron said. "It's my responsibility not to let that happen. We have the greatest fans in the game, and we've got men on our team that we're going to focus on.''

Stern Leads Spurs To Win Over Suns

Point man David Stern can be thanked for the San Antonio Spur's 88-85 win over a depleted Suns team. Thanks to Stern and his moronic decision, the Suns were without Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw. The Spurs if they win the NBA Championship should give a share to Stern for his contribution to the team.

Favre Giving Up HGTV For Minicamp

Now Brett Favre is going to attend minicamp. Nice that he could grace us with his presence.

"Brett's going to camp because it's the right thing to do ... he's going up there for his teammates, to check out some of the new guys and he expects to do everything everybody else does," said Bus Cook, Favre's agent.

Dirk Nobigzki Gets Award?

Dallas Mavs center Dirk Nowitzki was named the NBA's most valuable player. What? Isn't this the guy who whined and couldn't play and let the Warriors run all over him and his team? The only award this guy should be getting is "Bawler of the Week."

Brett Favre Is A Big Fat Liar

Brett Favre can not only cry on cue but also is pretty good at eluding the truth. And real good at throwing completions to opposing players. Despite reports to the contrary, the has been QB says that he did not ask to be traded after the Packers did not get Randy Moss.

"I was frustrated a couple weeks back when Randy Moss was traded to New England. I never wanted to be traded and I don't want to be traded. I want to be in Green Bay," Favre said Monday in a statement posted on the team's Web site. "I want to finish my career as a Packer. Sometimes when I get frustrated I let my emotions get the better of me.

Ok Brett. Go somewhere and have a nice cry.

Brett Favre Is Clueless

Brett Favre lashed out at the Packers organization for not aggressively going after Randy Moss. A few things Brett. Moss did not want to play in Green Bay with a has been QB. The Packers cannot win as long as you are at the helm. Stop the bawling Brett!

Packer Fans Should Just Shut Up!

Packer fans should just shut up. Apparently they are upset because a presidential candidiae used Peyton Manning's name as perhaps the greatest quarterback instead of Brett Favre's name.

GOP presidential hopeful Sen. Sam Brownback drew boos and groans Friday at the Wisconsin Republican Party convention when he used a football analogy to talk about the need to focus on families.

"This is fundamental blocking and tackling," he said. "This is your line in football. If you don't have a line, how many passes can Peyton Manning complete? Greatest quarterback, maybe, in NFL history."

Favre does complete a lot of passes Packer fans. However, they are thrown to the opposing team.

Losers of The Week

We have Michael Vick that manages to get in trouble every other week and now comes news about Ricky Williams.

The Miami Dolphins running back tested positive for marijuana in April and will not be allowed to apply for reinstatement to the NFL until September, sources said.

Williams was suspended last year for violating the substance abuse policy and was eligible to be reinstated this month, but the league's medical advisers who oversee Williams' personal rehabilitation program recently notified commissioner Roger Goodell of the positive test, sources said.

Reports Continue To Dog Vick

When will the other shoe drop on Michael Vick? Many are saying that Falcons owner Arthur Blank has given Vick a free ride.

Two friends of Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick are convinced he has been involved in illegal dog fighting at a home he owns in Virginia, they told SI.com on Thursday, despite Vick's denials.

Sports Illustrated NFL reporter Don Banks joins Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio's "The Herd" to talk about his feature story on Michael Vick. Listen "He knows what's going on in that house in Virginia," one unnamed source told SI.com. "There's not a doubt in my mind he's involved with it."

The Sports Shill Network

You have to marvel at the audacity of the shill network aka ESPN. Some of their notable shills:

Mike Golic: A has been ex football player who shills for Notre Dame, Barry Bonds,Roger Clemens, and all the other losers in sports.

Buster Olney: Baseball "analyst" who is shilling for Roger The Mercenary Clemens.

Mike Greenberg: A shill for Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and other losers.

ESPN Shilling For Clemens

One has to wonder if ESPN is getting a publicity fee for shilling for Roger AKA The Merenary Clemens. They are fawning all over themselves from the ESPN baseball analysts to Mike Golic who is also a shill for Notre Dame. No fair and balanced on this network.

Roger Clemens Is An Arrogant Mercenary

ESPN and its analysts are having orgasms over the fact that Roger Clemens is going to play ball for the Yankees. The simple fact is that Clemens is no more and no less a paid whore. He will play for whoever will give him the most money. And ESPN has not asked how a forty-five year old is still pitching the way he is. He is an arrogant jerk who has no allegiance to anyone.

Just Show Him The Money

As usual, Roger Clemens sold himself to the highest bidder and will join the Yankees. He would join the Daffy Ducks if it paid him the money. He made a dramatic announcement to fans from the owner's box during Sunday's game against the Seattle Mariners.

Clemens' contract will be a pro-rated salary of $28 million dollars, according to ESPN The Magazine's Buster Olney. His pro-rated salary last season was $22 million.

The Demise Of Big Mouth

The recent humiliation of the Dallas Mavs by the Warriors could not have happened to a "nicer" guy. Big mouth and all around buffoon Mark Cuban saw his team and himself humiliated by a supposedly lesser team. Karma does work. So go crawl back in a hole Marky boy.

No Horsing Around

For the first time, all 20 horses in the Kentucky Derby were administered surprise tests for performance-enhancing drugs.

Kentucky Environmental and Public Protection Cabinet spokesman Mark York said the decision to test all the entrants was not motivated by suspicions or allegations of wrongdoing, but to ensure enforcement of the state's medication rules.

"There were no particular concerns," York said. "We've been doing post-race testing, but we've added pre-race to bolster enforcement."

I Will Pump You Up

Yankee GM Brian Cashman finally listened and pulled the plug on the team's recently-hired and unfortunately-titled performance enhancement coach, Marty Miller. Cashman had been described as the "last man standing" in Miller's corner. But even he couldn't be certain the rash of injuries were all coincidence. "At the end of the day, you can't ignore the number of hamstring injuries we've had," he said.

Cashman tried to give the new program a chance, but when young phenom Phil Hughes popped his hamstring while in a no-hit bid Tuesday night, that was an attention getter. That made it injuries to six of the team's seven top starters, the exception being Kei Igawa, who actually had been demoted from the rotation.

Is Pacman Appealing?

Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones has filed his appeal of a season-long suspension and a hearing with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell should be held within the next two weeks, a league spokesman said Monday.

Jones said earlier this month he planned to appeal and NFL spokesman Greg Aiello confirmed Monday that Jones' letter arrived at league offices over the weekend.

"He will have a full opportunity to present his case," Aiello said.

ESPN And Quinn In Bed Together

If you watched ESPN and Mel Kiper during the NFL draft, you saw them trying to increase hair challenged Brady Quinn's value. The only problem is that the GMs knew that Quinn was not a top prospect.

Dick Harmon of the Deseret Morning News had a great analysis of the situation. "As it turned out, in the eyes of NFL folks that counted, Cleveland and Miami both passed on Quinn, as did Detroit and Minnesota and 17 other "chance" picks in the first round. Then the Browns frantically traded to get a shot at Quinn for a far less value than Kiper had set him up for.

Perhaps a dose of reality?"