Don't Drink the Water

Running back Ricky Williams who was out for the entire 2006 NFL season because of a fourth violation of the NFL substance abuse policy, has triggered the process that could end his one-year suspension and lead to his reinstatement by the league.
Williams was suspended by the NFL last April 25 and spent last fall playing for the Toronto Argonauts of the CFL.

Shafted

Steve Swindal,George Steinbrenner's son-in-law, was to take over the Yankees eventually but the reality is that almost certainly won't happen, now that Swindal and Steinbrenner's daughter plan to divorce. After all is said and done, he maybe lucky to get into Yankee Stadium.

Dumb and Dumber

Former NBA All-Star Micheal Ray Richardson and current Albany Patroons head coach has been suspended from the team.

The Patroons have suspended Richardson for the rest of the CBA championship series for comments made to the Albany Times Union on Tuesday. Richardson made anti-Semitic comments to two reporters in his office when discussing the contract general manager Jim Coyne had offered him Monday to coach his team in the CBA and USBL. "I've got big-time lawyers," Richardson said, according to the Times Union. "I've got big-time Jew lawyers." There were other offensive remarks but I will spare the readers the crap from Richardson.

Garcia Full Of Spit

Sergio Garcia confirmed his unusual hole-in-one at the 13th hole Saturday at the CA Championship at Doral. Apparently unhappy with his bogey, he chose to show his disdain by spitting in the cup after he had retrieved his ball. Very classy Sergio.

Run For Cover

Comedian Eddie Griffin crashed a rare Ferrari Enzo worth $1.5 million into a concrete barrier while practicing at a racetrack Monday, destroying the car but escaping uninjured.

The comedian was practicing for a charity race to promote his upcoming film, "Redline," when he drove too fast around a curve at the Irwindale Speedway.

A New Girl In Town

Milka Duno has four advanced engineering degrees but is short on open-wheel experience. The 34-year-old Duno will join the IRL series along with a new team, Samax Motorsport, and a new sponsor, CITGO. She plans to run 10 of the 17 races this season, including the Indianapolis 500.

Theismann Drop Kicked

Former Washington Redskins quarterback Joe Theismann will be replaced on ESPN's Monday Night Football, according to USA Today who quotes an industry official with direct knowledge of the move.

He worked as an analyst on ESPN's primetime NFL games for 19 seasons and last year joined play-by-play announcer Mike Tirico and rookie game analyst Tony Kornheiser in the MNF booth.

Rasheed Pist-On

Rasheed Wallace received an automatic NBA suspension for the Detroit Pistons' game at Milwaukee on Sunday, two days after being called for his 18th technical foul of the season.

Wallace received a technical for arguing a call during the second quarter of Detroit's 90-89 loss to the San Antonio Spurs on Friday night.

Even Pea Brains Can Win

Florida (32-5), trying to become the first team since Duke in 1992 to win consecutive national titles, advanced to the Midwest Regional final Sunday against Oregon. The Pea Brains held off Butler for a 65-57 win.

Kobe To NBA:Where's The Beef?

Looks like Kobe Bryant wants to show the NBA who rules. Bryant scored 50 points to lead Los Angeles to a 111-105 victory over the New Orleans Hornets on Friday night, making the Lakers star only the second player in NBA history with at least that many points in four consecutive games.

It's A Bling Thing

You have to hand it to Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick. He can tell tall stories. Stories that rival the oft used excuse by kids,"The dog ate my homework."

Vick is apparently now saying that the secret compartment in his water bottle that was confiscated at the airport was a holder for his jewelry.

"I had earrings in it, and I had jewelry in it," Vick said of the 20-ounce Aquafina bottle, which was red-flagged at the security checkpoint because liquid containers of that size can't be carried through. "They took the bottle. I don't know what they did with the bottle. I guess they were trying to, I don't want to say frame me, but at the same time look at what I had to go through."

"That's the first we've heard of that," Detective Nelda Fonticella, spokeswoman for the Miami-Dade Police Department, said when asked if Vick was carrying jewelry in the bottle. "If he has any kind of problem with the way things were handled, then he needs to talk to internal affairs."

There is no mention of jewelry in the police report, the statements provided by both security agents involved, in the Florida state attorney's case memo or any of the other related documents obtained by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Ok, Michael, I am sure someone may believe you.

Carr Crash

Hello Matt Schaub. Goodbye David Carr. Schaub signed a six-year, $48 million contract with the Texans, a move that officially consummates the trade.

As part of the deal, Schaub will receive $7 million in guarantees. Schaub has not won a regular-season start and barely completed 50 percent of his pass attempts in three seasons with the Falcons.

Choke Job?

According to Jamaican police, Pakistan's cricket coach Bob Woolmer was murdered in his hotel room on Sunday after the team's World Cup shocking defeat to Ireland.

A post-mortem examination established that the former England player had died as a result of "manual strangulation", police Commissioner Lucius Thomas said. "In these circumstances, the matter of Mr Woolmer's death is now being treated as murder," he told a news conference.

Be Careful What You Wish For...

The biggest bawlers in the world, Kentucky basketball fans, must be celebrating today.

ESPN is announcing that Tubby Smith will leave Kentucky to take over the head coaching job at Minnesota.

Asleep At The Wheel

St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony La Russa was arrested early Thursday and charged with misdemeanor DUI after he was found asleep at the wheel in his running SUV at a green light.

Tony La Russa was hit with a DUI charge 10 days before his Cardinals begin defense of their World Series title.

www.WeAreIdiots.com

Seems that the folks at University of Iowa are very sensitive people. So sensitive in fact that they are buying up domain names that are negative to their coaches or the university. I guess they don't want freedom of expression or people knowing that their head football coach,Kirk Ferentz, is one of the highest paid in college football with a mediocre record at best.

University of Iowa officials have already purchased seven domain names, including firekirkferentz.com, in order to keep them off the market.The school also purchased the domain names for potential sites about women's basketball coach Lisa Bluder, men's basketball coach Steve Alford and athletic director Gary Barta.

Body Slam

Ok, here's a shocker. Sports Illustrated is reporting that wrestlers have ordered body building drugs.

Eleven professional wrestlers, including the WWE's Randy Orton, have joined the list of athletes linked to a nationwide steroids investigation. Orton allegedly received eight prescriptions for six different drugs -- including stanozolol, nandrolone and testosterone -- between March 2004 and August 2004. According to the documents two doctors whose names also appear in Gary Matthews Jr.'s file wrote prescriptions for Orton.

In its review of documents, SI.com reported it found Adam Copeland, a.k.a. "Edge," and Shane Helms, a.k.a. "The Hurricane," received HGH from Applied Pharmacy in Mobile, Ala., one of the pharmacies raided in the investigation led by Albany, N.Y. District Attorney David Soares.

Feeling Blue?

Boise State University is offering naming rights for about $10 million to what is currently called Bronco Stadium, recognizable by its blue turf field.

"We've made some presentations out to some individuals and some companies, but we haven't gotten the answers we're looking for yet," said Curt Apsey, senior associate athletic director for advancement. "We're aggressively pursuing that opportunity with a couple people."

Packers Crackers?

If the rumors are true, then Packer fans need to storm the Packer GM's office. Rumor has it that a Packer trade would include Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers and Raiders wide receiver Randy Moss. Green Bay officials are dismissing the talk, according to a published report.

"It's never been discussed inside the building or outside the building," Green Bay General Manager Ted Thompson told the Green Bay Press-Gazette when asked about the chances of a deal that would include Rodgers.

Why would the Packers trade a young QB and keep Bret Favre who is very good at crying and throwing interceptions. And why would the Packers want a Randy Moss who only plays when he feels like playing?

Can You Say Idiot?

Remember the Mickelson meltdown at the U.S. Open last year? Well, this is what "Lefty" has to say about that.

He told ESPN, "I'd hit driver again. No question. Put me on the 18th hole at Winged Foot, needing par to win, and I'm doing exactly what I tried to do last June: carve a baby slice and chase it down the fairway to set up an iron to the green, two-putt for my first U.S. Open and my third straight major."

Johnson Gets The Tank

Chicago Bears defensive lineman Tank Johnson was sentenced Thursday to four months in jail for violating probation in a 2005 gun case. Johnson immediately was taken into custody. He could have been sentenced to up to a year behind bars.

Who's That Masked Man?

Betting Man

Pete Rose was one of the best ball players ever. He unfortunately is not one of the most ethical or truthful human beings ever.

Rose revealed Wednesday that he bet on the Reds "every night" while he was manager of the team. Rose said that he believed in his team so much that he bet on them to win every night. "I bet on my team to win every night because I love my team, I believe in my team," Rose said. "I did everything in my power every night to win that game."

Big Baby Says Bye Bye

LSU's "Big Baby" Glen Davis will announce at a news conference next Wednesday that he will declare for the NBA draft, but a decision on whether he will sign with an agent and forgo his senior season is still undecided. This is according to LSU coach John Brady.

Pea Brain Celebrates

Reptile U.'s Joakim Noah smiles for photographers as he and teammates celebrate as 2007 SEC champions at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Ga., Sunday afternoon.

But Does He Own An English Dictionary?

The egotistical Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen now thinks he owns Chicago. Interesting.

His response to questions about whether Chicago is big enough for two managers like Guillen and Lou Piniella shows how big a moron he is. "I own Chicago. Lou doesn't own [anything] yet... A couple days ago, somebody asked me who was more famous in Chicago-Lovie Smith, Mike Ditka, Ozzie or Lou. I said, 'Why do you put Lou here? He hasn't done [anything] yet in Chicago. Why do you look to put Lou in that spot with Ditka, Lovie and Ozzie?"

"Pacman" In Bowling Tussle

A man was arrested and charged with aggravated assault after police said he threatened troubled Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones with a knife at a Franklin, Tenn., bowling alley.

No one was hurt during the Friday night incident.

"Mr. Jones was here just trying to be a normal customer, trying to bowl" with several others, Franklin police detective Stephanie Cisco said, according to The Tennessean newspaper.

Gators In Finals

Corey Brewer scored 22 points, Lee Humphrey added 17 and the sixth-ranked Gators put on another dominating display to beat Mississippi 80-59 in the SEC semifinals Saturday.

Defending national champion Florida (28-5)and its "girlie man" jumped out to a quick 11-point lead and was never seriously challenged by the Rebels (20-12), who might have cost themselves a chance to slip into the NCAA field.

Hokey Pokey

Louisiana State head women's basketball coach Pokey Chatman resigned on Wednesday after the university became aware of an alleged inappropriate sexual relationship between Chatman and a former player on Chatman's team, sources told ESPN.com. Pokey Chatman, a Louisiana native, had been at Louisiana State as both a player and coach for nearly 18 years.

Miami Nice

Miami's new coach Randy Shannon has added new rules -- among them, any player caught with a gun is off the team and players must wait two years before moving off-campus, plus maintain a 2.5 grade-point average to stay there. And anyone caught with a gun is not only off the team, but kicked out of school.

Soft Cocks?

Seems as if the old ball coach is the old fooled coach. How many offenses is Steve Spurrier going to let his prized QB recruit Stephen Garcia commit before he is gone? Or is winning every thing?

A judge decided Wednesday to hear all of the misdemeanor charges against South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia at once, and the highly-touted recruit was expected back in court next week.

Garcia, 19, has been arrested twice in the last few weeks in separate incidents. On Tuesday, South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier said Garcia would not be allowed to participate in spring practice, which begins later this month.

Garcia was arrested Feb. 17 with drunkenness and failure to stop for a police officer. Last Saturday, he turned himself in on charges of malicious injury to personal property.

Arrest warrants said Garcia scratched the car of professor Adam Biggs with a key and caused more than $800 in damage.

Hard Knocks In KC For Trent

Kansas City Chefs QB Trent Green is being aksed to restructure his contract, which will pay him $7.2 million next season. The Chiefs are also entertaining offers for Green, who missed eight games last season with a severe concussion.

Nose Job

Was the Duke-UNC game much ado about a nose? Seems that the UNC players are crying foul while the Dukies are saying it was all about nothing.

North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough was the recipient of an intentional foul called by the refs against Dukes's Gerald Henderson. Hansbrough had a bloody and broken nose as a result of the foul. Henderson was ejected and suspended one game.

The No. 8 Tar Heels manhandled 14th-ranked Duke 86-72 on Sunday and clinched the top seed in the Atlantic Coast Conference tournament.

Soy Su Amigo

How badly did Juan Pablo Montoya want to win the Nascar race in Mexico City? Apparently enough to screw his racing teammate,Scott Pruett.

Montoya,the Colombian star who jumped from Formula One to NASCAR late last season, recovered from a bad pit stop to aggressively move from 19th to first, taking the lead when he sent Pruett's car spinning on the 72nd lap.

Pruett was clearly upset."Of all the people to take out - your teammate," Pruett said. "That was just lowdown, nasty, dirty driving."

What Big Feet You Have

ESPN announced this week that Barry Bonds shirt size ballooned from 42″ to 52″, his shoe size grew from 10 1/2 to 13, and his hat size went from a 7 1/4 to 7 1/2.

These “stats” were reportedly taken from Mark Fainaru-Wada’s and Lance Williams’ book,"Game of Shadows." Whether hormones can make bones grow or not, the story certainly makes for interesting comments.

Snow Day Leads To Loss Of Cold Cash

The Los Angeles Lakers fined Lakers player Vladimir Radmanovic $500,000 Thursday -- nearly 10 percent of his $5.2 million season salary -- for violating his contract by snowboarding, which led to a separated shoulder injury.

Radmanovic got hurt on Feb. 17, when he was in Park City, Utah, during the All-Star break. He is expected to miss two months.

He admitted last week that he lied to the Lakers when he said he fell on a patch of ice while walking. He apologized to coach Phil Jackson and general manager Mitch Kupchak. His contract specifically prohibits those kinds of activities during the season.

Will Elvis Get The Tickets?

Jerry Glanville is ready to run another football team. This time, the former NFL coach is taking over at Portland State -- vowing to turn the Vikings into the "hardest hitting football team on the West Coast."

Glanville, former coach of the NFL's Houston Oilers and Atlanta Falcons, has been defensive coordinator at Hawaii for the past two seasons under June Jones.

Outspoken and often dressed in black, he playfully left game tickets for Elvis Presley to pay homage to the late singer.